Thursday, October 10, 2013

Week 41 - Day 5

Mark 10-12; Proverbs 12

*Click here to read these passages:

Sometimes when I’m reading the Bible I feel like God takes me on a journey guiding my thoughts along the way … shining light on certain phrases and bringing to memory verses in other parts of the Bible.  Today was one of those days, and I’m thankful for the journey He took me on.

The first phrase that started me out was one that my eyes would probably normally just kind of gloss over and head straight into the next chunk of scripture, but today it stopped me.  It was this: “And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them.”  Immediately an image came to mind of my three young children gathered around Jesus, His loving eyes giving them all His attention, and His hands holding them close.

Then another scripture came to mind – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phillippians 4:6).  And then another – “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27) 

I realized at that moment how much I have been worrying about my children lately.  And I had just this heaviness lifted knowing they are in His hands.  I know as a mom worrying about your kids kind of comes with the job, but I’ve felt anxiety about it lately.  I worry about how they behave at home and away from home, about what they are learning, how fast they are learning, how they spend their time, what they eat, and I worry about how every tiny thing will impact their future.  I worry like crazy about my daughter who has sensory processing issues and how that is going to affect her life.  Oh the what if's that take over sometimes!

And it is not just about the kids - I worry about whether I’m doing a good job as a mom.  I worry about our family’s future … where we’ll be, what we’ll be doing, when and how certain things will come about, etc, etc.  I worry about my own health because of my autoimmune stuff.  So with every flare up of joint pain and whatever many other crazy symptoms, I worry about what health problems I’ll face as I get older and if I'll have to deal with the pain and disabilities my grandmother did.

What is a little funny is that I didn’t even fully realize how anxious I had been about everything lately until I started writing all this … I tend to keep holding things in until it feels like I can’t breathe anymore.  He knew today I needed to be reminded to take a deep breath and to know my kids, my family, my health – everything is in His hands.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

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